The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
