If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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