i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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