On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
