i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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