I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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