Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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