once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
my poor anus
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
