It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
