I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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