spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
