you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
