I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
