it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
