Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
