i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
