the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
