What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
