You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
