i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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