im six kinds of drunk right now
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
