Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
