I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize