She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
