so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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