I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
