What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Randomize
