Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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