the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
