Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
