The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
