So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
