I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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