Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
