Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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