you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
