I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
