i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
