in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
