eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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