I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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