Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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