Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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