she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
