I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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