he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
