I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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