proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
