Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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