i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
