More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
