can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
