what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
