So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
