My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
