I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
