i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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