He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
