Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
