Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
