Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
