11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
