if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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