and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize